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I post this in honor of my friend Tina,who is a Southern Lady thru and thru, You go Girl...
Only a Southerner...
- Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
- Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
- Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
- Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
- Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
- All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
- Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
- Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
- Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
- No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
- A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
- Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
- Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
- Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
- Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
- Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
- When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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