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Have you ever wondered when you are ending a relationship what went wrong, or more to the point, what did I do wrong?It isn't always easy to face the end and it is even harder to realize that the match was less than perfect. Do you find yourself going over and over certain parts of conversations and wondering "why didn't he pick me, what's wrong with me, why did he pick her instead of me, or why am I second best? My answer to that is this.
When we begin to fixate on the issue that seems to cause us pain we forget to look at the whole.
The whole means in this case, that there are two souls involved with two different perspectives.
Two souls with different goals, and spiritual paths to travel and develop. What is right for one person at one point in time, may not be right for another.
For example, if you and Joe begin dating, after a few months Joe doesn't feel that he can afford to give so much time to the relationship. He tells you that he needs to back off and focus on his career. You feel rejected, look for other reasons, for the "personal rejection". From this point of view, it is clearer to see that Joe did not reject you.
rather he chose himself.
He chose to take care of himself and needed to follow his own inner guidance.
If we choose to attach ourselves to the *illusion* of rejection and pain, we can wallow in that for a very long time. We can feel *pity* for ourselves, wounded and deeply rejected.
We can also choose to understand that it was a decision made by Joe to honor his own needs, and to choose otherwise would mean that he would not be true to his own inner guidance.
It is clearer now that Joe wanted his freedom, but also needed a change to stay in integrity with his own goals.
You are an extension of the *SPIRIT* that we all are.
You are as good a person, generous a soul, beautiful and exciting as you meant to be when you came to the earth plane. Does that make you less than anyone? NO. Does that make you an *INDIVIDUAL*, yes.
So you ask," WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD?!!!"wHEN Joe left?
I will ask you the same. You have chosen a *TEMPORARY BELIEF SYSTEM* that is *ERRONEOUS* and lacking in real truth. When we attach to the subjective feelings of hurt, grief,and feeling rejected its important to understand that they may NOT be coming from the source that we think. There may be feelings of self doubt and grief, also perhaps betrayal,all FEAR-BASED. They may not necessarily be TRUTH,or REALITY. We cannot always control what is happening in our life.
We can understand our *emotions* and that is an important beginning to having more POWER in our lives. To realize that there is an attachment to a PARTICULAR ISSUE is a beginning.
To understand that this attachment is rooted in the PAST,from some past hurt,begins to shed light in a more pervasive way. Love is the one thing that we all want. It does not seem at times to be within our reach. Do you feel needy and at times that love eludes you? Are you afraid to express yourself ,do you feel that if you say too much or push too hard,that you will find disfavor from your intended? Do you have fears that you will be abandoned,or left once again?
Many have these fears and more, the list is endless, but you understand the reference.
To understand the process of emotions I would like you to think for a moment of a very happy time in your life. Remember it in detail. All of the emotions of the moment played back again.
Then go to a time when you felt terribly alone,and afraid. What was going thru your mind? Did you feel stymied and afraid,and void of feeling any joy and love? Was the effect one of being locked in a shell of withdrawl and numbness? Primarily fear?
We often relate trauma to an earlier time in our lives,one that had no resolution.
We capture the feeling that had us so immobilized,and we run with that. We imagine that we are feeling that all over again and again and again, in various present day situations,until we do something to heal or change it. It can actually color the scene at the moment making often something much,much more that it should really be.
Can you remember a situation in which someone else was apparently over reacting to something?
Love is never easy,as we have said,two souls two minds,two hearts,two different paths.
And the romantic notion that two hearts beat as one is a lovely image,but not often the case.
In every case it is important to recognize that when we feel hurt,or rejection,when we feel sad and lonely,when we feel anything but a sense of *PEACE* and *JOY*....it is in fact a self *created ILLUSION*
*LOVE* in its abundance is the *SPIRIT* called *GOD*,and it is also *YOU* .
You can choose to feel differently at any given moment in time. You have to practice this to see it,nevertheless it is so.
In your new awareness,practice noticing your emotional reactions on a daily basis,and then try to ask yourself,"what does this remind me of from my past?"
You will begin to surprise yourself.You will slowly drop the need to hang on to those self-defeating emotions,and exchange them for self-empowering ones!!!
And you will begin a new journey,of self-created power!!!
BLESSINGS and LOVE!!!
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